Most couples don’t want an ordinary, boring, routine relationships. They want excitement, fun, closeness, love. When we get married we make vows to be together until death do us part. That’s a long time, and sadly, half of marriages don’t or can’t keep that commitment.
We have a dream or vision of how we want our life together to be. We become unhappy if we’re too far off track from that dream. If we don’t believe our dream is possible we feel hopeless, stuck, and eventually leave the marriage mentally, emotionally, and often physically.
Happiness vs. Fulfillment
It’s fascinating that what made us happy before eventually becomes no longer good enough. This is because there’s a difference between “happiness” and “fulfillment.”
Happiness is transient and what makes you “happy” can change from moment to moment, while “fulfillment” is about meeting deeper needs and is more lasting. But what are these deeper needs? We need to be loved, and we need to express love. We need comfort and security but we also need variety and excitement. We need meaning and purpose, even if we don’t know what that is.