This video is a preview for our Radical Marriage program [7:42]
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to Radical Sex!
In this 2-part program we’ll cover 14 strategies for a fulfilling sexual relationship.
Part One will cover strategies that apply to all couples and Part Two will cover radical strategies to go way beyond what most couples experience.
But first we need to warn you that this program includes sexually explicit material and is intended for mature adults only. If you’re a minor or easily offended by sexually oriented information or images, please turn off this video right now.
Sex is a huge driver in relationships, from the reasons we get together to the reasons we break up. Most couples highly value monogamy and fidelity, yet when their sex life doesn’t work, affairs and divorce often happen.
But we probably don’t need to convince you what a big deal sex is. Sex is a strong, natural human desire built right into our body. We are all sexual beings and a satisfying sexual relationship is an important bond that helps couples live happily ever after.
While sex in a new relationship is almost always exciting, sex in a long-term relationship can get routine and boring if you do the same thing the same way every time. Even if you love chocolate ice cream, it loses its appeal if you eat it everyday. While routine can be comforting and enjoyable, most people need variety as well. To top it off, at any point in time partners will have different sexual wants and needs and desires.
With all these complexities and differences it’s a wonder that relationships work at all! But here’s the truth, sex in a long-term relationship can be even more exciting and fulfilling than a new relationship because it takes a while to get to know your partner’s body, their response to different touches, their sexual wants and needs, and their turn-ons. This is a true case of practice makes perfect.
In a good relationship usually the longer you’re together, the more sexual experiences you have together and the better the sex. Also great sex includes emotional connection and safety which gets stronger and better over time in a good relationship.
If you’re in a not-so-good relationship, you’re probably not ready for this video and these strategies. We recommend reviewing our other Radical Relationship programs first and trying their strategies and getting professional support if you need it.
So here’s a question for you. What kind of sexual relationship do you want?
The difference between happiness and unhappiness in a relationship usually boils down to three things: 1. Taking responsibility for what you want. 2. Being clear about what you want. 3. Taking action towards what you want.
If you take a good look at unhappy people, they usually don’t do any of these things.
So, back to our question, what kind of sexual relationship do you want? What would make you happy and satisfied with your sex life? And beyond regular, normal happiness, what would make you ecstatically, radically happy beyond your wildest dreams?
We suggest taking a moment to think about your answers to these questions, maybe even pausing this video, and writing down your answers so that when we cover our strategies you’ll know what to do with them.
So, before getting into Radical Sex, let’s look at some important research findings about sex in relationships. First, a study published in 2012 in the American Journal of Medicine studied sexual satisfaction across different age groups in town that sex gets better with age. While desire and frequency decline with age, arousal and orgasm gets better. The really, really interesting thing about this study is defining that arousal and orgasm continues into old age despite low sexual desire.
So desire and arousal are not correlated. You can be not in the mood and become aroused and have a satisfying orgasm. Let’s remember this one for later.
A study published in 2010 in the archives of sexual behavior found that the reason and context for having sex determine satisfaction, not the number of orgasms, and that both men and women are more satisfied when having sex out of love and commitment rather than just satisfying sexual urges. While recreational sex for physical pleasure might be fun, the emotional connection in the loving and committed relationship is more fulfilling.
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Marital Therapy in 2011, reported that desire and frequency is a major factor in sexual satisfaction. It might seem obvious, but it’s nice to have some proof that when you have sex as often as you would like, you’re happy with your sex life! And if you’re not having sex as often as you like, you’re not happy with your sex life. And as you might guess, men, were more likely desire sex more frequently.
Many studies of sexual desire in relationships find that over time men’s desire tends to remain constant, while women’s desire tends to decrease over time in a long-term relationship. Well, this is a set-up for relationship unhappiness and an important reason to be intentional and work together to co-create a sexual relationship that meets both partners needs. Sadly, about 20% of relationships are sexless, and 15% of married couples haven’t had sex in six months or more. 25% of men and women suffer from Hypoactive Sexual Desire or HSD, and lack any interest in sex.
But here’s the question, do you think they want to have no interest in sex? You think they feel good about it? Even if there are medical problems causing the HSD, if you have low or no sexual desire but want to do something about it, this program is definitely for you.
Lastly, sex is not only great for a relationship, it’s also great for your health. Sex lowers your stress and your blood pressure, it boosts immunity, it burns calories, it strengthens your heart, it releases wonderful feel-good chemicals in your body, helps you sleep better, and more.
So stay tuned and we’ll show you exactly how to practice radical sex and live happily ever after… in bed.
