Is Marital Happiness an Inside Job?

loveCharacteristic #8: A Radical Marriage has partners who prioritize each other’s happiness.

With the release of our new book, Radical Marriage, we recently received an interesting question from a reader who poignantly—and rightly—pointed out that “happiness is an inside job,” and wondered how that reconciles with being committed to her partner’s happiness.

First, we must understand that this query is what we call an either/or question, and in our new paradigm, marriage is not an either/or proposition; it’s both/and.

Taking responsibility for your happiness is what you do for yourself; commitment to your partner’s happiness is what you do in the relationship.

In Chapter One of Radical Marriage we identify fourteen characteristics of a Radical Marriage. Characteristic #8 is A Radical Marriage has partners who prioritize each other’s happiness and Characteristic #9 is A Radical Marriage has partners who take responsibility for their own needs and happiness.

These principles work alongside each other quite nicely, don’t you think so?

Relationship Happiness is More Than an Inside Job

While it’s true that “happiness is an inside job,” it is important to note that you must allow your partner to have his or her own reality—even when different from your own—and allow them space to create a unique sense of fulfillment. In that respect you must realize “it’s not about you.”

At the same time, we believe that taking your couple relationship beyond happily ever after is life’s greatest adventure. This means you cannot be happy just from within. You must take responsibility for your own happiness while remaining simultaneously 100% committed to your partner’s. Accomplish that, and you will be well on your way to a Radical Marriage.


Do you have a Radical Marriage? Do you WANT a Radical Marriage?
Get your copy of Radical Marriage today!

harville and helen hendrix endorse Radical Marriage

“Radical Marriage provides clear ideas, easy strategies to follow, and a ‘radical’ new paradigm for creating the relationship of your dreams.”

Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. Co-authors of Making Marriage Simple


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